Many Coaches Work Very Successfully Giving
Relationship Problem Advice

Coaches often work with relationship problem advice and problems that their clients are having. I have a personal slant (prejudice) here. I would not want to work with a Life Coach fixing relationships if that Coach didn’t have successful relationships herself - and I'd want to know something about the changes.

Take a look at The-Pumpkin-Coach.com, which is all about Relationship Coaching and Relationship Problem Advice

How can someone teach/coach me about healthy relationships or building positive relationships if she has no real experience herself? She may have taken many courses but unless she can examine a successful relationship from the 'inside out', how can she work with me and understand what my situation needs in order to help me right it?

As it happens, both of my Coaches have very successful long-term relationships so I never hesitated to speak about and listen to any relationship problem advice they might have.

If I were looking for a Life or Relationship Coach right now and knew that I had relationship problems currently or in the past or that I might get into a relationship and want relationship problem advice and help, I’d be looking for the following in a Coach:

1. I’d ask the Coach about their personal experience in mending relationships.

Maia's answer: My first marriage was a long-term relationship lasting 19 years - 4 years of 'going together' and 15 years of marriage. It was a very bad relationship. Neither of us were mature enough to know ourselves, healed and/or resolved about our dysfunctional childhoods and we did not have the courage or awareness to tell much emotional truth. It was a great relationship to experience from a Life Is a School perspective.

I then met a man who was nice to me and because he wanted to get married and I really hadn't figured much out about what a marriage is, I married him. It lasted six months because I saw that it was not what or how I would want to spend the rest of my life.

Then in 1986 I married Bart. We knew each other for 2 1/2 years before we married. We were friends. We were mature. We both had done extensive work on healing our pasts and learning many tools to create successful relationships. We celebrate our 22th anniversary on May 11, 2006. We finally learned how to do it!

2. What kinds of issues the Coach has overcome in fixing relationships - theirs and others - and what kinds of tools might be offered.

Maia's answer: For the answer to the first part see #1. The foremost tool for fixing relationship is offered right on this site. Click on the Anger Self-Help button and find a Free Tool called a Love Letter. Each situation is different but the bottomline necessity in any relationship question is that there is totally open communication with nothing withheld. Additonal tools range from learning to 'helicopter up' and see situations from a very wide perspective to not taking things personally to journaling and having the proper support. And many, many more

3. I’d want to know if it was possible to have the Coach sometimes speak to me and my partner either together or separately.

Maia's answer: I have done and will do couples coaching with the two members of the couple. However, the most fun, productive and successful couples coaching has been with my husband who is also a coach. The unique dance that occurs between coach and client multiplies exponentially when there are two coaches and two clients. It's magical and very successful to have both male and female perspectives.

4. I'd ask the coach’s definition of building trust in relationships and building healthy relationships.

Maia's answer: Quite simply building trust in relationships occurs when each person is willing to be completely authentic and express their real thoughts and feelings. How and when to do that takes practice. Likewise, building positive relationships occurs when authenticity, humor and shared values exist.

If you are looking just for advice and coaching on how to improve your business, this is not a likely issue unless you are having relationship problems within your business. So even there, I might be very interested in finding out about how that Coach handled relationship issues beyond intimate relationships.